He Got Game Songtext
von Mark Normand

I don′t know. I'm too literal. I had a blind date once, right? When
The girl sat down, saw me for the first time, she goes, Hey, I bet
We′d have really cute kids. I was like, All right, I bet we have
Great sex. And she goes, Whoa, slow down. I was like, Slow down
You're nine months ahead of me. this girl hated me. She was like

You know, I feel very brave tonight. I was like, Why is that? Because
I'm not wearing makeup. I was like, How′s that brave? Because I′m
Being my true self, being the real me. I was like, okay. She's like
You should be brave. Like, Yeah, maybe I will. She′s like, What are
You going to do? I was like, I'm going to stop pretending. This is
Interesting. She was like, Wow, I can′t believe you just said that
I was like, Yeah, it took guts, but I don't know. I′m doing okay


You know, I had a one night stand not too long ago. You were there?
Yeah. Yeah. Pretty hot. And she was a nice girl. Really funny, smart
Pretty. But she would do a thing in the bedroom that would totally
Screw me up. She's like a four year old. You ever come across this?
We'd be having sex. You′d be like, you know, if you want to, you can
Pull my hair. I was like, Okay. And we keep going. But, you know
If you want to, you can slap my ass. I was like, You got it. Like
Keep going. Like, you know, if you want to, you can choke me. I was
Like, I do. And we finished. We had a great night. We′re laying
There. And I was like, You know, if you want to, you can leave. She

Didn't care for that one. I thought I′d be fine. I But that's like a
Lot of ladies get mad about the whole leaving thing, but it′s nothing
Personal against you ladies. You know, I'm just a weirdo. I′m in my
Head. I got to get out of there. I'm a nut. I'm an introvert. A lot
Of girls get mad. Like, what do you just fuck me and leave? I′m like
Well, yeah, this was a long night. I′ve been trying to win you over
Like 9 hours. I'm exhausted. There were five guys at the bar hitting
On you. I′d out charm them. Be more interesting, be conversational
Be funny, be on all night. She was like, Well, you could have just

Been yourself. I'm like, What are you fucking stupid? Be myself
What? I′m a piece of shit. If I was myself, I'd like, Hey, if at all
Let′s fuck. That's not going to work. She was like, Well, I don't get
It. Why do you want to leave? Like, I don′t know. I just want to go
Talk about it. Why not talk to me? I want to go talk to a friend
Like, why do you tell me anything? I′m like, Well, that's not true
She′s like, I swear to God, you can tell me anything you want. I was
Like, All right. Well, I recently had sex with a woman and she won't
Let me leave. So that ended. What is that with the leaving ladies?


That one really hits a nerve. Ladies, you want a guy to stay? Make
Him want to stay. Right. Like guys, we have pickup lines. Ladies
You need to stay put lines. That′s where you kick in. Like I approach
You at a bar. I was nervous. I was on my heels shucking and jiving
I made it work. Now you want me to hang out so you do it? Isn't that
Justice? She′s like, We're not being that fun right now. I'm like
I already did that. That′s why I fucked you. Now you want me to hang
Out so you go. It′s just a shift change, that's all. It′s your turn
Now. I don't get it. Like a lot of girls. Like I want this guy to
Like me. You push your boobs together, wear high heels, you look sexy

As hell. Then a guy is sex, and you′re like, That's it. Well, that′s
What was advertised. Like, if I see a movie trailer, I'm like, Ooh
I want to see that movie. I go see the movie. Then I go home
I don't sit around going, I got to get to know this theater. And
I′m not saying the theater sucks. It just wasn′t advertised. Talk to
Me. Win me over. Sweep me off my feet. You do it right. I'm just

Exhausted. I′ve been bringing the heat all night. I'm not funnier
Charming, and you′ve been bringing the play in the hits. She's like
Well, how can you be fake all night? I′m like, Well, you faked it
Too. You don't look like that. You wear makeup, right? We're both
Full of shit. Your eyes don′t go at the end or whatever. Just wear
Makeup on my personality, that′s all. Talk to me. I'd love to get to
Know you. Win me over. You know, all you guys, you′re lazy. Do kegels
All day. How about you tighten up some stories? How about that? Yeah

Yeah. Get it going. I had a girl one time. You can't leave. You
Fucked me. I was like this. How you get people to hang out with you?
Talk to me. Say something. Give it to me. Right? Yeah. Be more than
Your vagina. Hit me with it. Let′s go. It's weird. That′s not in your
Culture at all. Ladies, every magazine for women is like the covers
Like be be sexy, have a flat stomach. Great, but nice legs. What
About, like, be captivating, dazzling with your personality? No

It's just like drain as balls. I. I don't get it. Like, ladies, you
Know, when you go out to dinner with a guy and you′re like, just
Because you bought me dinner doesn′t mean I owe you sex. And that's
True. But just because you had sex with me doesn′t mean I you my
Morning. I don't know. Yeah, it′s just frustrating. That's
Why it′s weird when women are like, we're just as horny as men
Maybe we have a lot more requirements. No, you're like the
Goldilocks of Dick. you like that guy′s too short. That guy′s
Too dumb. That guy's just right. Guys, we′ll fuck the porridge
I'm not saying one is better than the other. We′re just different

You know, I go to the doctor. He's like, What happened?
I′m like, It was too hot. 00:16:47:13 - 00:17:08:22 Unknown