Abstract Songtext
von LXCHY

[Intro – Reversed Sample (from " LXCHY - I′m Sorry This Is Worthless")]
By what came fucking more
Like I'm not nailed to the floor
Like it′s simple as a door
You keep saying "Just stay."
Too fragile to be real

(FUCK)
Uh, uh
Drink up, drink up, drink up, what
Drink up, drink up (AH)


Drink up the daylight
It's thin as it gets
You say you want better
But you're placing your bets (oh)
On losing again
Like it′s easier that way
If nothing gets better
Then nothing can stay
You keep asking yourself
Like you don′t already know
Why you loosen your grip
When it starts to outgrow
Why you shut every door
When it opens a crack
Why you promise you'll change
Then you quietly step back
You say it′s confusion
You say it's the past
You say you′re just waiting
For something to last
But you've had it in front of you
More than a few times
You watered it down
With excuses and rewinds
Why do you bruise what is gentle?
Why do you starve when you′re fed?
Why does control feel essential
Until it collapses instead?
You know what you're doing
You've mapped it in pen (I can′t)
You just cross out the truth
And rewrite it all again (FUCK)

Maybe you′re wired this way
Maybe if you keep on choking
You won't have to try and be okay
Ok means steady, and steady means still
And still means you′re left
With no pain left to fill
What if the hurt is the only
Thing proving you're real?


Proving you real
What if the chaos is home
And the quiet won′t feel?
You get one good day
Where you're holding it tight
You answer your phone
You step into light
You feel almost normal
Like maybe you′ve grown
Like maybe the future
Is something you own
Then the morning comes heavy
And undoes the thread
You crawl back inside
Of the story you said
"I can't."
"I don't know."
"It′s harder than that." (I can′t)
"I'm trying."
"I swear."
"I swear." (I fucking swear)
"I swear."

It′s safer to fail
By your own careful hand
Than risk being held
And not understanding
How to live without needing
A wound to defend
How to breathe without waiting
For it all to descend
So you sit with the question
Like it's something new
But it′s been in the room
Longer than you
And you whisper it softer
Like that makes it fair —
Like I don't know
Why do I hurt myself
When I know I don′t have to?
Fuck
I know I don't have to

If I fix me — who do I blame?
If I grow — who stays the same?
If I win — who feels the shame?
If I love — can I keep on the flame?
I know the answer
I know the answer
I know the answer
I know the answer
I know the answer
I know the answer
I know the answer

(Fuck)
Well fucking do it
Then do it
Honestly what the fuck
What are you doing
(Fuck)