Badtimes Songtext
von Laika

If you receive an email with the subject of "Bad Times", delete it
Immediately without reading it. This is the most dangerous email
Virus yet. It will rewrite your hard drive. Not only that, but it
Will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It
Will recalibrate your refrigerator′s coolness setting so all your
Ice cream melts. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
Cards, screw up the tracking on your VCR, and use subspace field
Harmonics to render any CDs you try to play unreadable. It will give
Your ex-boy or girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix

Antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave
Its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over


It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit and
Hide the car keys when you′re late for work. Bad Times will make you
Fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus
Midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your
Eyebrows while dating your current boy or girlfriend behind your back
And billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa card. It will
Seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead. Such is
The power of Bad Times. It reaches out beyond the grave to sully

Those things we hold most dear. It moves your car randomly around
Parking lots so you can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will
Leave libidinous messages on your boss's voicemail in your voice. It
Is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold
It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. Bad Times will give
You Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up
It will make a batch of methamphetamine in your bathtub
And then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes
Out to chase high school kids with your new snowblower

These are just a few of the signs. Be very, very careful