They Points at Them Songtext
von Kyle Cease

There′s a lot of things in your life that you'll never hear
Isn′t that weird?
Like, you'll never hear, "Hey, we should go to Alabama again"
No one's ever said that
Or, "I′m sorry, we′re all sold out of Wilford Brimley Trapper Keepers"
Or no one said this
"Oh, let's put some nutmeg up in this motherfucker"
Like, no one′s ever said that, ever about nutmeg

That was a weird tangent there
I go off on tangents a lot
That was weird, what I said
But, you know, it'd be weirder is if two munchkins came in here
Same time, butthole first on a unicorn spear, right?
And they were like, "What′s up? I'm Oprah"
And you′re like, "You're two people"
So, there's weirder things that can happen
Is the point that I′m trying to make


Oh my God, you guys are opening the door for such weird shit
Like, usually, seriously, the CD′s so much more shit I like to do
Because you're convincing the public that this is funny, and it is, oh
Michael Jackson, man, I miss him
He was so great, right? He was so good
I did radio the day after he died
And a woman calls in, she goes, "Well, I′m glad he died because I have three kids"
Right, like Michael Jackson's after your trailer trash pieces of shit in Yelm, Washington

Are you telling me you kept your kids
Inside because Michael Jackson might be outside?
"Guys, don′t go outside, you never know if a Michael will strike"
"Come on, let me see your kids, I just want to see your kids"
I don't even know if he did that, that′s what we forget
I don't even know if he did that
I do know he wrote Billie Jean, that's a fact, right?
And if you′ve been into any dance club since 1984
You know that there′s first music that plays, right?

And all that first new shit that's like
"Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do"
Move your body ′cause it's a telescope, or whatever the shitty
I don′t know the words to any newer songs
I thought Dip It Low by Christina Milian
I thought that song was "Dip it low, take it up slow
Hop, hop, hop, let's dance
I′ma show you how to make some medicine"


And I was like, "Hell yeah
I get to learn how to make some medicine, it's about time"
I put on my medicine suit, which I own, right?
And I thought she'd be like, "First, you get some test tubes
Then you get some flour, then you mix it up for a mother effin′ hour"
Or something like that
But she didn′t, so I had to go buy NyQuil
So those songs are on, and they play, and it's this long, slurry shit
And then at 11.37, it all fades down, and then you hear

"Boo-boo-doo-boo-doo-doo-doo"
And here′s what everyone does in the club
Everyone knows to do this
Everyone finds one person, and they points at them
They points at them
I think it's time we re-edit that puppy
And they point at them
Here′s what you're thinking right now
You′re thinking, "I wonder if both edits will make it into the CD
Or if it'll really get edited"
I guess you'll have to buy it and find out

I′m just kidding, maybe, I don′t know
Maybe I'll do both, maybe I′ll keep this, too
That's kind of weird
So this joke won′t be funny at all
This Michael Jackson bit
Because now we're all going, "I don′t know how it's-"
Isn't it weird that we know, also?
We know shit that′s going to come out on the CD
Before the people in the future that have to buy the CD

Like, we know
You could be hanging around them and just being like
"Oh, Creed sure sucks, and you′re afraid of it"
Why'd you say that?
You′ll find out in four months

We should talk to them right now
Like, they're in the future for us
But we′re in their past, so we should tell them what's going on
I guess the past when they knew
Tell them all the things that happened in the past
Like, what′s happening right now?
What's the big news story right now?