Emotionally Dead Songtext
von Kharii

Lately I just wonder how you holding on your end
Haven′t seen you in some years, haven't spoke to you in ten
Had I been through what you been through, I′d have pulled the trigger then
Guess you did though in a sense, went emotionally dead
I had to leave that city, couldn't go back home again
Now I'm up in California with a notebook and a pen
No one here around, it′s just the ghost under my bed
And the moments in my head, I′m emotionally dead


I really hope you learning how to love yourself for real
I remember back some years you used to cut yourself to feel
Know there was a lot of trauma when my father went to jail
Got you swallowing a pill, hoping somehow it'll heal
You blaming on me saying I′m the reason you a mess
You said you gonna die and I'm the reason for your death
I was only fifteen, just a teenager at best
Deeply feel defeated and depressed with these demons in my chest
We in Section eight apartments where the people tweak on meds
And police frequently check the scene and reassess
Fake G′s, wannabes, lot of misdemeanor theft
Working hard, three checks, playing lottery bets
Ain't nobody listening to me, got this feeling in my tummy
That you probably should′ve loved me but you didn't and it's fine now
I′ma get the money, say goodbye to everybody
I decided I′ma love me like I'm my child

Lately I just wonder how you holding on your end
Haven′t seen you in some years, haven't spoke to you in ten
Had I been through what you went through, I′d have pulled the trigger then
Guess you did though in a sense, went emotionally dead
I had to leave that city, couldn't go back home again
Now I′m up in California with a notebook and a pen
No one here around, it's just the ghost under my bed
And the moments in my head, I'm emotionally dead


Back then I was sleeping on the living room floor
Every night you walking in with some liquor from the store
Just to hand it to your son, shit you killing him for sure
Out control the home is torn till police hit the door
Cuff him up and end the war, still the kid that you adore
So you beg for him in court
See his daddy is in jail so he dropped out of school
And he hit a female but it′s just a couple bruises
He′s a white male, like can't we just excuse him
The courts say geez, Julie we do agree
We gon′ let him out for free
But nobody even think of where his little sister be
She been struggling a lot with all the trauma that she sees
She just gotta go and leave, gotta flee
But the winter northeast make it really hard to sleep on the streets
So she sleeping in a gym on the bathroom floor
Yoga mats be thin, got her back real sore
Honestly I'm really feeling grateful for it all
And the way that things evolved
Took that pain onto this paper and my pain became my call-ing
Towards a higher path
Looking back realizing that without the drama packed
Dramatic past I′d probably have
An ordinary life, little work to four or five
While my life is soaring by
But instead I'm more than hyped
Warming mics, touring heights
Only gonna multiply, turn my pain to fortune fives

Lately I just wonder how you holding on your end
Haven′t seen you in some years, haven't spoke to you in ten
Had I been through what you went through, I'd have pulled the trigger then
Guess you did though in a sense, went emotionally dead
I had to leave that city, couldn′t go back home again
Now I′m up in California with a notebook and a pen
No one here around, it's just the ghost under my bed
And the moments in my head, I′m emotionally dead