Dungeon Master Songtext
von Jumpsteady

Welcome
Blue wizard is about to die
Green elf needs food badly

The bass is thumpin′, the club is jumpin'
Hot drunk girls in the corner humpin′
Booties shakin', big titties fakin'
High five my boys as drinks we takin′

But what do we know about this? Nothin′
We're not even there, I was only frontin′

We're in a basement, roleplayin′ D&D
Explorin' a land of make believe
It′s kinda like readin' a book anew
Except you control what the characters do

Untold adventures await your mind
As you become someone else, intertwined
Some think it's nerdy, that′s probably true
But fuck you, it′s just what we nerdies do
Allow our imagination to soar free
As our dreams here become reality


All through the night, sit tight
And keep on rollin', rollin′
Lookin' for that twenty
Then we know we′re golden
Others go for a bite
We keep on rollin', rollin′
Order us some pizza
It disappears like Merlin

The drums are thumpin', goblins jumpin'
We′re in the deepest part of the dungeon
Brave wizard, stand at the rear
Throw a fireball at anything you hear
Hey thief, don′t bother, you failed your roll

I see you in the shadows, little hoe
Oh me, I'm a cavalier, I check the doors
That′s the reason they call me a hero whore (that's right)
Got a chained kobold in the lead
We call him Trap Tester, know what I mean?

Torches shakin′, hit points achin'
See any kinda treasure, we takin′
Dice rollin', sword glowin'
Deep in the dungeon depths, we keep goin′


Hear a monstrous sound, look around
Continue down the tunnel dumbfound
Enter a cave that reeks of foul stench
Not the place we really wanna be, I bet
Then I see what I can′t believe
A red dragon standin' in front of me

All through the night, sit tight
And keep on rollin′, rollin'
Lookin′ for that twenty
Then we know we're golden
Others have them a life
We keep on rollin′, rollin'
Don't need social troubles
We′re good just slayin′ goblins

Pizza's here, with a small cheer
Pop all around, don′t need any beer
Nerdy boy, what's your joy?
Likes to collect action figure toys
Knight to rook, comic books
To the hobby store, like crack, you′re hooked
Robotech, cybersex
Online gamin' until your flex
Wrath of Khan, Obi-Wan
Collectible cards and Megatron

These are things nerdies do
Of course we like to roleplay too

Haven′t faced a dragon in a while
Nerdies at the table get kinda wild

"Mr. DM, what's the deal?
A red dragon? Are you for real?
We're only third level, don′t you know?
And currently hit points are low!"
From the DM comes a wicked laugh
"Roll initiative, guys, time for the bloodbath!"

All through the night, sit tight
And keep on rollin′, rollin'
Lookin′ for that twenty
Then we know we're golden

Others go out at night
We keep on rollin′, rollin'

Don′t need to spend money
We need our medication
All through the night, sit tight
And keep on rollin', rollin'
Lookin′ for that twenty
Then we know we′re golden
Others have them a wife
We keep on rollin', rollin′
We are not true virgins
Get plenty of penance

A huge fireball suddenly appears
And strikes the dragon like a bombardier
"Yo wizard, think you best retire
Don't you know a red dragon′s immune to fire?"
(Aw shit, my bad, he looks kinda mad
That's my last spell, cheerio, lad!)
The others run, smart thing to do
But I′m a cavalier and I'm not allowed to
Unsheathe my wicked chaos blade
The dragon's roar begins the rampage

Sound aloud a bloodcurdling battle cry
Close the gap, it′s a suicide
Leap attack as I gracefully glide
Attempting to strike its scaly hide

Damn, rolled a one
My blade falls, that′s it, I'm done

Mmm, toasty