Throwing Heat Songtext
von John Caparulo

Don′t start yelling shit already. Fuck yeah, dudes, all right. Look at
This, all right. Look, I'm fucking dressed up. Huh? I mean, look
Seriously, this is prom for me. I didn′t go to prom, so yeah, finally
Got to wear this shit. I mean, but yeah, that's dressed up to me
It's fucking buttons. Yeah, like whoa, that′s fucking fancy. I mean

It′s the same way I look at a restaurant. Like, you know, they don't
Have a drive through or a spork, so whoa, now I gotta wear a fucking
Tie, I guess. But it′s good to be in Las Vegas. I love coming to

Vegas, you know. It's one of those places that you come to that you
Enjoy, you know. I mean, I do, Vegas is one of the places I come to
That′s actually fun. I get to drive here from L.A., you know. It
Always seems more fun than it is. I mean, 'cause I′ve made the drive
A bunch of times, I just -- fuck Prim. I don't know if anybody's ever
Made that drive, I mean, motherfucker, they get me every time. They
Should rename Prim fucking Mirage. ′Cause that′s all it is, they get
Me every time. 'Cause I′m three and a half hours into that drive
Fucking back hurts, I gotta pee. I see lights, I'm like, oh fuck
Yeah, Viva Las fucking Prim, I′m gonna kill you, I fucking hate you

Motherfucker, Whiskey Pete. They fucking catch me every time. But


Yeah, I like coming here, I like to play -- I don't know why I think
I′m good at poker. There's no reason. Like, there's nothing about my
Brain I should invest money in. Like, it always takes me three or
Four hundred bucks for it to finally dawn on me, why am I competing
At a math game with Asians right now? Why does that make sense? I′m
A fucking cash register to these guys. Oh, I know what′ll improve my
Math skills, fucking whiskey. Yeah, let's do it. All in, Quan
I don′t give a shit. I get so drunk I forget the rules and shit

He's like, I got a full house. I′m like, I got uno. All right, you

Don't understand. I call blue, fuck you gonna do now? But I like
Coming to -- it′s fun coming here, 'cause I don't have to fly or

Anything. I like to come here. It′s always fucking hot. It′s desert
Hot, I mean, I live in L.A., so I'm used to, you know, but it′s
Still, there's different levels of hot, you know. I was in Tampa
Florida, that′s a thick hot. Like, it's deceptive, ′cause you look
Outside and you're like, oh, I could walk through Burger King. And I
Can't walk through fucking Burger King. I came back with a Whopper
And a fucking yeast infection. I′m a little moist right now. I should
Probably call my mom about this shit, ′cause I don't feel all that
Fresh. But sometimes I get to do cool shit when I travel. Like, last

Time I was in Tampa, I got to throw out the first pitch at a Tampa
Bay Rays game. I fucking blew it. It′s my second time throwing out a
First pitch. I don't know what it is, but it′s a ball. I'm a dude


Fuck. ′Cause the first time I did it was in Cleveland, and it was an
Indians game, and I was so scared of short arming it, I threw it over
Everybody's head. I bombed it. The catcher and the mascot just stood
There. I'm like, one of you fuckers could have dove, really. I mean
My family′s watching, make a play. Everybody booed me and shit. But
When I was in Tampa, I was like, fuck it, I′m throwing heat. Like
I still kid myself at this age, like I'm gonna throw such a good
Fastball the manager′s gonna be like, you wanna go a few innings?

I feel good, skip, let's fucking do it. Yeah, I got up to the mound
And I′m like, fuck, that's far. This shit ain′t regulation. Is
There a ladies tee I can go from? This is bullshit. But I talked
Shit before I went out there, I was telling the catcher, I'm like
You better get your hand ready, this is gonna fucking hurt. So I
Get out to the mound and he's all the way there. So I′m committed
To throwing a fastball, I wind up, I′m like, nyah. And the whole
Stadium heard, nyah. 'Cause it′s pretty quiet at that point, you
Know what I mean? So they knew I tried. I wasn't getting away with
That shit. Fucking one hopped it. Right before the second hop. And

There′s that moment, it sets in where you're like, a lot of people
Fucking saw that shit. And the thing is, I was ready for them to boo
Me. Like, I was prepared emotionally to get booed. But no, not in
Tampa, they had to be fucking supportive. They clapped. It made me
Feel worse. They took a minute, like, like I was there from fucking

Make A Wish or some shit. Come on, that′s a good throw for a sick
Little girl, give it up for her

Fuck you guys, I don't need this shit