Roommates Songtext
von Jimmy Fallon

Go back, go back, go back to your dorm, you got your roommate
And that never works out

That never works out, they don′t want it to work out
They, they want it so it's like a Real World episode in your dorm room
That′s a

Like I, like I don't understand, like, they have the
Compatibility test you filled out at the beginning of the year

That's such a joke, that test you
Fill out at the beginning of the year
It′s like, "Um, I like rock and roll, I like staying
Up late and I love the ladies, aw yeah, cool!"
"Okay, we got a perfect roommate for you. He′s an opera major, he's
A narcoleptic and he′s gay, so go fight each other, we got four
Camera angles, that'll be perfect
Welcome to college, go screw yourself"
"What?"
"Yeah, that′s what we say here, go ahead"


Then you think, you say, "Okay, I gotta beat
I gotta beat, my buddy from high school's coming up
He′s gonna be my roommate, it's gonna be awesome"
No, that is never awesome
It doesn't work out
No, it doesn′t

I hate to tell you
You will fight each other
You will just get, you will just get, I′ll tell
You why, one is they have too much dirt on you

Your friend from home has too much dirt, they'll kill
You, they′ll crush you in an argument for no reason
Like you just say, "Hey man, uh, the dishes have
Been in the sink for like two weeks, man, they're
Your dishes, are you gonna clean them or what?"
"Yeah, you remember when you had crabs in sixth grade?"
"Oh, you′re right, you're right"
"Is it fair to bring up my crabs?"