It's All Turtles Songtext
von Jim Stanard

According to the creation myths of several cultures,
the earth rests on the back of a giant turtle.
Fair enough, but what does THAT turtle stand on?
Let′s talk about it.

TV's on, drinkin′, thinkin' 'bout the un-i-verse
Saw an infomercial for a metaphysics course
Called the 900 number, to sign up right away
Took a bus down to the school later that day
Teacher comes in wearin′ blond dreadlocks and beads
Starts writin′ on the chalk board 'bout life′s mysteries

It's all turtles, all the way down
It′s all turtles, all the way down
Count their legs then divide by four
Then get ready to count some more
To the edge of the universe and beyond
It's all turtles, all the way down


Well that makes sense, was my first reaction
I need to know the details for my satisfaction
Stacked up feet to shell was how it had to be
But "why turtles?" was bothering me
Why not llamas, hippos or ferrets?
I though my question had some merit

It′s all turtles, all the way down
It's all turtles, all the way down
Count their legs then divide by four
Then get ready to count some more
We don't know if they′re green or they′re brown
But we know it's turtles, all the way down

My teacher shouted – can′t you see
You need to write out a check to me
Then you can get to turtle consciousness
And live in ever after turtle bliss
But why not hedgehogs, wouldn't that be wiser?
I guess I just ain′t no philosophizer

I guess the truth is, I'm a quitter
Think′n 'bout turtles and other critters
I'll return to my daily plight
Like where can I find a date tonight?


It′s all turtles, all the way down
It′s all turtles, all the way down
Count their legs then divide by four
Then get ready to count some more
They might have a smile, they might have a frown
But it's all turtles, all the way down