Ulysses Songtext
von Jake Thackray

When Ulysses comes home
He always greets me with an open heart
But you will see how Ulysses
Has taken my life apart
I′ve got a dog called Ulysses
He plays all day in the park
Sniffing at his friends and the chestnut trees
And chasing cats till after dark
When my Ulysses comes home
Wag-wag, woof-woof
His tail in the air
His usual exuberance
Is awfully hard to bear
When I stumble home at night I'm jaded and stale
And so I try to take a little repose
I don′t want waking up by a happy tail
I don't want a kiss from a big wet nose
When my Ulysses comes home
Wag-wag, woof-woof
He gets on my wick


For Ulysses communicates
His love with a snuffle and a lick
I like to sit in my fireside chair
Watching telly till the epilogue
In a semi-coma and without a care
And I would do if it were not for my bloody dog
When my Ulysses comes home
Wag-wag, woof-woof
Like a maniac
It's useless to pursue my viewing
So I sent my television back
I tried to climb up the social scale
And so I organised a little do
Some very posh people came to my cocktail
But at half-past seven my party was through
When my Ulysses came home
Wag-wag, woof-woof
I knew I was sunk
My guests were not at all impressed
And they left when my dog got drunk
I brought my sweetie home one night
And we both knew that this was it
Sipping Chianti by candlelight
We were getting to a very important bit
When my Ulysses came home
Wag-wag, woof-woof
He broke the spell
Intruding on my beautiful
Romance like a hound from hell
My one solution is quick and grim
A little bottle of cyanide
I can′t bring myself to get rid of him
I shall have to perform a suicide
So, when Ulysses comes home
Wag-wag, woof-woof
Home for his tea
He′ll have to cry a little bit
For having given so much love to me