The Last Will & Testament of Jake Thackray Songtext
von Jake Thackray

I, the undermentioned
By this document
Do declare my firm intentions
My last will, my testament
When I turn up me toes
When I rattle me clack
When I agonise
I want no great wet weepings
No tearing of hair
No wringing of hands, no sighs
No lack-a-days, no woe-is-me′s
And none of your sad adieus
Go, go, go and get the priest
And then go get the booze, boys
Death, where is thy victory?
Grave, where is thy sting?
When I snuff it, bury me quickly
Then let carousals begin
But not a do with a few ham sandwiches
A sausage roll or two


And a small port wine, please
Roll the carpets right back
Get cracking with your old gay gawns
And your knees up
Shake it up, live it up, sup it up
Hell of a kind of a time
And if the coppers come around
Well, tell them the party's mine, boys
Let best beef be eaten
Fill every empty glass
Let no breast be beaten
Let no tooth be gnashed
Don′t bother with a fancy tombstone
Or a big deal angel
Or a little copper flowerpot
Grow a dog-rose in me eyes
Or a pussy willow
But no forget-me-nots
No epitaphs, no keepsakes
You can let me memory slip
You can say a prayer or two for me soul
Then but make it quick, boys
Lady, if your bosom is heaving
Don't waste your bosom on me
Let it heave for a man who's breathing
A man who can feel, a man who can see
And to me cronies
You can read me books
You can drive around in me motorcar
And you can fish your trout with my fly and tackle
You can play on my guitar
And sing me songs, wear me shirts
You can even settle me debts
You can kiss my little missus if she′s willing
Then but no regrets, boys
Your rosebuds are numbered
Gather them now for Rosebud′s sake
And if your hands aren't too encumbered
Gather a bud or two for Jake