The Oldest Swinger in Town Songtext
von Foster & Allen

When you score with a chick in a disco bar
Take her home in your hairy little car
Then you find you went to school with her ma and pa
You′re the oldest swinger in town

When you won't look in a mirror in the light of day
Swear you dyed it when your hair turns gray
When you zip up your trousers and your belly′s in the way
You're the oldest swinger in town

Here you come and there you go
Wire wheel-spokes and a stereo
But the engine's clapped, and the driver also
You′re the oldest swinger in town

When the barber takes a little less time each week
The kids don′t understand a word you speak
When you walk into a disco and they offer you a seat
You're the oldest swinger in town


You prefer a pint of shandy to Bacardi and coke
The songs are too loud, there′s too much smoke
You'd like another dance but you′re affraidyou'll have a stroke
You′re the oldest swinger in town

Here you come with your chest all bare
A little gold ingot and a lot of gold hair
Like the disco king meets yogi bear
You're the oldest swinger in town

When you're feeling as stiff as a skinhead′s boot
You rub on Vick where you used to splash Brut
And the latest punk fashion is your wedding suit
You′re the oldest swinger in town

When you have to go shopping for your sex appeal
Travolta shades and nine-inch heels
You say a man is just as old as the woman he feels
You're the oldest swinger in town

Here you come with your lips closed tight
You never smile, you know it wouldn′t look right
'Cause your dentures glow in ultra-violet light
You′re the oldest swinger in town


And you look so mean 'cause your pants are too tight
You′re the oldest swinger in town
And it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night
You're the oldest swinger in town