Aisle B Songtext
von Eric Schwartz

My girlfriend got sick
And she needed a few things
But she could not get out of her bed
So she wrote me a list
She sent me to the drugstore
I went up to the salesgirl and said

Tell me where are the tampons
And tell me how to heal canker sores
Sell me what you take with a crampon
′Cause if she don't stop whining
She won′t need no tampons no more

She said I'll be
That's where you′ll find them
I′ll be near the feminine sprays
And I'll be where they carefully align them
To make them well
Sure I′d be shopping for tampons for days


So I picked up a basket
And went out and found her
Anything she could squirt or insert or inject
When I was done
I brought 'em up to the counter
Where each item I got was price checked
Hair pluckers, zit suckers
Unstuckers for stomach unease
Inner incense for a scent
Like a warm country breeze

I later discovered
The whole thing was a setup
She taped me from beginning to end

I should have known better
This chick hasn′t let up
Since she found out I did her best friend
So I packed up my things
With my ego eroded
And I went back to live with my mom

If you don't believe me
The MPEG′s uploaded
At guysbuyingtampons.com


I'll be
The dreams aren't stopping
I′ll be
Never again
I′ll be
Girls do your own shopping
Unless you are trying
To make a mess of your nails