Crossed Out Songtext
von DeFord

I wanna make this sound right ′cause I care
by that I don't mean I want to fool you, I just
wanna make sure that you understand,
but I′m not sayin' that I think that you won't;
in fact I don′t,
but I think maybe it′s a matter of trust.
I mean of course I trust you;
maybe I don't trust myself but that′s alright.
I know I'm a mess,
I′m doing my best, I'm sorry;
I know I won′t get to try again,
and by that I mean I don't want you to
have to feel like it's your job to let me.
I didn′t mean that this was your last chance to fix me. Not that it′s your responsibility, but
I appreciate the things you do.
I wanna be open with you.
I'd tell you everything I think, but God it′s
just so hard to put it into words.
Maybe you don't care at all,
but I want these words to feel good in my mouth.
Not like that,
I mean you probably weren′t thinking that, I'm
sorry that I thought that you might.
Why do you think I still deserve your time?
I mean it′s your choice and not mine,
I just know if I were you I would've
given up on me by now for sure.

It sounds ungrateful when I word it like that,
which I'm not, just so we′re clear;
it means the world to me.
I know I can′t show you a thing.


So call me out.
Fill me up with anticipation,
making light of the conversation,
think out loud.
Can we pretend like it never happened?
Can we change how your friends reacted?
Going south.
Who am I to expect forgiveness
when I know that it's not your business?
Let you down.
Clearly I′ve got a lot to work on;
really I'd rather be at square one than be left out.

I wanna make this sound right for the books.
I′m not expecting you to read me,
I just wanna give this page another look.
I'm not suggesting that you don′t know a thing,
'cause you do,
you've been through it with me most of the time.
You know of course I need you,
I mean I′m not saying you don′t have a choice.
I know I'm a wreck,
you′re all I have left, I'm sorry;
I don′t want to force you into this.
And by that I mean I don't want you to
have to feel like it′s your job to help me.
I didn't mean to say that you don't really get me.
Not that it′s your responsibility, but
what you′ve done is keeping me alive,
and if I get to survive,
I'll tell you everything I think, but God it′s
just so hard to cut it down to size.
Maybe it's double-crossed my mind;
if you don′t mind,
I'll tell you why
I wanna get somewhere.
I know it′s only in my head.

So hear me out.
I could butcher the explanation,
blame it all on the constellations,
but I'm not proud.
I'm ashamed of my inhibitions,
I′m a fool, I make bad decisions
full of doubts.
Who am I to expect forgiveness?
Say no rest for the sacreligious!
Break me down.
Clearly I got a lot to work on,
really I′d rather be at square one than be left out.

And if my words can't explain my vision,
I would much rather be rewritten than be crossed out.