Boy Toys Songtext
von Decayed Souls
Boy Toys Songtext
Yeah
This one′s about my wife
And her infinite men
Her Kindle's basically a brothel at this point
Yeah, hey
My wife ain′t cheating, but her Kindle sure is
'Cause she's got 30 fake dudes all calling her "Miss"
There′s a fake king, a wolf shifter, a demon on deck
And a vampire who somehow always kissing the neck
She laughs, kicks her feet, gets all blushy and warm
While I′m in the kitchen fighting Tupperware like a storm
I'm like, "Babe, you good?" She′s like, "OMG, wait!"
The orc just picked her up like she's his fated mate
Girl, how I′m supposed to compete with that?
These dudes got wings, tattoos, and stamina stats
Meanwhile I'm over here with back pain and snacks tonight, whoa
My wife got book boyfriends lined up in rows
She could start a damn army with the men she chose
Every night she′s like, "OMG" (new toy)
And I'm just standing here like, "Girl, what about your boy?"
She got a harem, my whole damn crew
Six in every book and she reads book two
She don't need reality, she got her joys
A library full of delicious boy toys
Look, babe, don′t take it so rough
Just ′cause my book men are a little more buff
They got claws, magic, fangs, torsos carved like art
You got dad jokes, snack crumbs, and a good heart
Which is cute, but these men be like
"My queen, my moon
Let me worship you all night with unholy faith"
Meanwhile you're like, "Babe, wanna DoorDash fries?"
I love you, boo, but these men got lies
She′ll finish the series and swear she's fine
Then 30 minutes later got a new man online
I ask, "Who′s he?" She says, "Oh, just a prince"
Then shows me a cover with the dude all rinsed and ripped
She says, "Babe, he's sweet" and he calls her his treasure
Girl, if I talked like that you′d call 911 for pressure
But hey, if she's happy with her little book clan
I guess I'm okay being boyfriend number (damn, ten?)
My wife got book boyfriends stuffed in her brain
I swear if they paid rent we′d be rolling in gain
She dimples, giggles, screams, "Oh my God"
While I′m just sitting there feeling oddly flawed
She got a harem, a magical squad
Each one built like a Roman Greek god
She don't need reality, she got her joy
Stacked like Jenga with her pretty boy toys
She says, "Babe, he′s sweet" and he calls her his treasure
Girl, if I talked like that you'd call 911 for pressure
But hey, if she′s happy with her little book clan
I guess I'm okay being boyfriend number (ten)
Damn, ten?
My wife got book boyfriends stuffed in her brain
I swear if they paid rent we′d be rolling in gain
She dimples, giggles, screams, "Oh my God"
While I'm just sitting there feeling oddly flawed
She got a harem, a magical squad
Each one built like a Roman Greek god
She don't need reality, she got her joy
Stacked like Jenga with her pretty boy toys
Look babe, I get it
They′re fictional
Don′t cry
I'm not crying
Just heavily hydrated in the eye
You′ll always be my main character, babe
Until the next series drops
Probably
This one′s about my wife
And her infinite men
Her Kindle's basically a brothel at this point
Yeah, hey
My wife ain′t cheating, but her Kindle sure is
'Cause she's got 30 fake dudes all calling her "Miss"
There′s a fake king, a wolf shifter, a demon on deck
And a vampire who somehow always kissing the neck
She laughs, kicks her feet, gets all blushy and warm
While I′m in the kitchen fighting Tupperware like a storm
I'm like, "Babe, you good?" She′s like, "OMG, wait!"
The orc just picked her up like she's his fated mate
Girl, how I′m supposed to compete with that?
These dudes got wings, tattoos, and stamina stats
Meanwhile I'm over here with back pain and snacks tonight, whoa
My wife got book boyfriends lined up in rows
She could start a damn army with the men she chose
Every night she′s like, "OMG" (new toy)
And I'm just standing here like, "Girl, what about your boy?"
She got a harem, my whole damn crew
Six in every book and she reads book two
She don't need reality, she got her joys
A library full of delicious boy toys
Look, babe, don′t take it so rough
Just ′cause my book men are a little more buff
They got claws, magic, fangs, torsos carved like art
You got dad jokes, snack crumbs, and a good heart
Which is cute, but these men be like
"My queen, my moon
Let me worship you all night with unholy faith"
Meanwhile you're like, "Babe, wanna DoorDash fries?"
I love you, boo, but these men got lies
She′ll finish the series and swear she's fine
Then 30 minutes later got a new man online
I ask, "Who′s he?" She says, "Oh, just a prince"
Then shows me a cover with the dude all rinsed and ripped
She says, "Babe, he's sweet" and he calls her his treasure
Girl, if I talked like that you′d call 911 for pressure
But hey, if she's happy with her little book clan
I guess I'm okay being boyfriend number (damn, ten?)
My wife got book boyfriends stuffed in her brain
I swear if they paid rent we′d be rolling in gain
She dimples, giggles, screams, "Oh my God"
While I′m just sitting there feeling oddly flawed
She got a harem, a magical squad
Each one built like a Roman Greek god
She don't need reality, she got her joy
Stacked like Jenga with her pretty boy toys
She says, "Babe, he′s sweet" and he calls her his treasure
Girl, if I talked like that you'd call 911 for pressure
But hey, if she′s happy with her little book clan
I guess I'm okay being boyfriend number (ten)
Damn, ten?
My wife got book boyfriends stuffed in her brain
I swear if they paid rent we′d be rolling in gain
She dimples, giggles, screams, "Oh my God"
While I'm just sitting there feeling oddly flawed
She got a harem, a magical squad
Each one built like a Roman Greek god
She don't need reality, she got her joy
Stacked like Jenga with her pretty boy toys
Look babe, I get it
They′re fictional
Don′t cry
I'm not crying
Just heavily hydrated in the eye
You′ll always be my main character, babe
Until the next series drops
Probably
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