If That Ain't Country (I'll Kiss Your Sss) Songtext
von David Allan Coe

This is a song I wrote about my father, Donald Mahan Coe Jr
My daddy passed away on August the 9th, seven years ago
This is a song about my father

Well, the old man was covered with tattoos and scars
He got some in prison and others in bars
And the rest he got working on old junk cars in the daytime
Now they looked like tombstones in our yard
And I never seen him when he wasn′t tired and mean

Well, he sold used parts to make ends meet
Covered with grease from his head to his feet
Cussing the sweat and the Texas heat and mosquitoes
And the neighbors said we lived like hicks
But they brum their cars for my pa to fix anyhow

While he was veteran proud, tried and true
He fought 'til his heart was black and blue
And I don′t know how he made it through the hard times
He bought our house on a GI bill
But it wasn't worth all he had to kill to get it


He drank Pearl in a can, Jack Daniel's black
Chewed tobacco from a mail pouch sack
And he had an old dog that was trained to attack sometimes
While he′d get drunk and mean as a rattlesnake
Never wasn′t too much that he would take from a stranger

I was 13 kids and a bunch of dogs
A house full of chickens and a yard full of hogs
I spent the summertime cutting up logs for the winter
Trying like the devil to find the Lord
Working like a slave for my room and board
Cold burning stoves, no natural gas
And if that ain't country, I′ll kiss your ass

If that ain't country, it′ll hair lift the pope
If that ain't country, it′s a damn good joke
I've been on the grand old Opry
And I know Johnny Cash
And if he ain't country, I′ll kiss your ass

Well, my mama sold eggs at a grocery store
And my oldest sister was a first-rate whore
My daddy said she couldn′t come home anymore, and he meant it
Now, mama, she was old, far beyond her time
And her hair was gray, and I've seen her crying
She was talking about Junior, said he was dying in prison


Why, she told all the neighbors he was off to the war
He was fighting for courage, he was good to the core, and she was proud
Now, our house was a graveyard for automobile
And around the porch was a bunch of old wheels
And some used Harley-Davidson parts that we sold for cash

There was 50 holes and an old tin roof
Me and my family was living proof
And everybody called me old poor white trash
And if that ain′t country, I'll kiss your ass

If that ain′t country, it'll hair lift the pope
If that ain′t country, it's a damn good joke
I've been on the Grand Ole Opry
And I know Johnny Cash, mmm
And if he ain′t country, I′ll kiss your ass

And I'm dreaming tonight of my blue eyes
And turning to gray speckled birds
I didn′t know God made honky-tonk angels
And went back to the wild side of life
That a little late