Refresh Songtext
von Dave Malloy

Hi, my name is Jessica and I′m an addict
Hi, Jessica
Addict
Mm-hmm
God, that's still so hard to say
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm

So, I had a bit of a relapse this weekend
Mm-hmm
I was doing really good, you know?
I installed trackers, installed blockers
Deleted non-essential apps
Turned off notifications, turned off push
Mm-hmm
But then I
It′s so simple


I had an urge, I said "Why not?"
One peek won't hurt
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I hadn't ego surfed in a while
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Not since my incident
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Refresh, refresh, refresh

Yes, I am Jessica, that one
Righteous mob mind casualty
Sacrificial lamb that I am

You′ve all seen my "White Woman Goes Crazy" video

(Hey, ah-hey, ah-hey)
Thank you, thank you
(Hey, ah-hey, ah-hey)

For context, right?
I actually saw it before I was ID′d
Saw this video of a woman losing it circulating in my feed
Voices sound familiar, recognize the place
Mm-hmm
And then I saw her
My face
Is that my face?
My face
Is that my face?


And I'd be like
Click, swipe, fuck
Click, swipe, fuck
Click, swipe, fuck
Click, swipe, fuck
Click, click

Those first few hours, those first few days
I was glued to the lewdness on my screen
Reading everything about me in morbid flagellation
Multi-tasking all the tabs of my humiliation

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What did this small person say?

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What did these dozen small persons say?

Refresh, refresh, refresh

Every voice is equal, every voice gets in

It was like my eyes were sewn open
With a piece of electric thread
Go to bed, go to bed
No, but just one more
One shallow little phrase
Would light my brain up like a torch
I became a junkie for it
Digging deep for all the memes and posts
To make me feel more shitty
Make my shame hurt the most

And I′d be like
Click, swipe, fuck
Click, swipe, fuck
Click, swipe, fuck
Click, swipe, fuck
Click, click

My name
Is that my name?
My name
Is that my name?
Oh, God
Oh, God

I watched myself reborn as an icon
For awfulness and hate
(Hey, hey)

So then I went away
To the forest
No reception, just refresh
Make my head feel clean
Water, candles, soap, sun, sky
Clear attention, simple stillness, silence
The forest was beautiful

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Refresh, refresh
Refresh, refresh, refresh

But we all have to come back
So I came back

But of course there's no coming back
No rehabilitation
No nuance, just noise and complete annihilation
The mob never forgets
The mob never forgives
Even though you don′t fucking know me at all
No, you've no fucking idea what you′re talking about
But I am yelling at a stranger
At a mind waste
At a petty child robot

Oh, come on, come on, come on now
Stone me, bone me
Spunk me, junk me
Dox me, pox me
Shame me, maim me
Hate me, destroy me
Fuck me, enjoy me

I am cancelled
No parole, no release
Would you like that?
It's hard to get close to new people now
I don't go out much
I wear a hat and a trench coat
Like a pervert
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Refresh, refresh

This all happened so fast
It′s too fast for our fledgling empathy
The tech got away from us and we weren′t ready
I don't think we′re wired to handle this