Getting Acquainted Songtext
von Dane Cook

Before we keep going
Anybody have any questions about
What′s happening right now?
What are your names?
Robert and? (Deanna)

Robert and Deanna
How long you guys been together?
(Over a year)
Over a year?
Yeah, or two years?

He said over, that's kind of a wide
You missed, you know, a year, two years
Let′s just call it five years

Did you guys meet in real life?
Did you meet through some kind of online situation?
Talk to me, you're at my house, let's just-
(We met in real life)
You met in real life?


And did you get it? Like, when you met him
A thing happens with women that I′ve, have-
I′m trying to understand, like-
Like, you kind of know there's some-
I don′t know what if it's, what is it like pheromones
Or this like your pussy tingle?
Did it like buzz in your panties?

Right? You kind-
Butterflies came out of your vagina?
Right? Did you just-
You knew something right away, like
"Oh wow, I wanna hang with this guy" Yeah?

And so, how′s it been?
You can be honest
Let's figure it out right now, okay?
You′re either leaving together
Yeah, it's been great (yes, yes), yeah

Okay, so here's what I want to ask you guys
And you gotta be honest for all of us tonight
This is an evening about truths, okay?
Uh, you fight from time to time? (Yeah)
Let′s talk about that


Let′s talk about that
And when you fight
Do your fights escalate?
Or do they stay pretty even-keeled
Where it's just kind of like-, right?

But is it, you know, sometimes they′re like
I got a neighbor, like, right over here
And man, she's a bitch
She′s probably listening to the show right now
"You're loud!"

She′s always fucking yapping
She just wants to out-yell
I didn't even invite her to the show
I'm kidding!
I′ll bring you a meringue!