Maria Songtext
von Constance Shacklock

She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee
Her dress has got a tear
She waltzes on her way to mass and whistles on the stair
And underneath her wimple she has curlers in her hair
I even heard her singing in the Abbey
She′s always late for chapel
But her penitence is real
She's always late for everything
Except for every meal
I hate to have to say it but I very firmly feel
Maria′s not an asset to the Abbey
I'd like to say a word on her behalf
Then say it, Sister Margaretta
Maria makes me laugh
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertigibbet
A will-o'-the-wisp
A clown


Many a thing you know you′d like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
When I′m with her I'm confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
She′s as flighty as a feather
She's a darling
She′s a demon
She's a lamb
She′ll out-pester any pest
Drive a hornet from his nest
She could throw a whirling dervish out of burn
She's gentle, she's wild
She′s a riddle, she′s a child
She's a headache
She′s an angel
She's a girl
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Maria?
A flibbertigibbet
A will-o′-the-wisp
A clown
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her
Many a thing she ought to understand
But how do you make her stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?