Maximum Bob Songtext
von Charlie Dore

Way down south, in Florida state
Where orchids bloom and hummingbirds proliferate
Somebody′s packing a gun for Maximum Bob
Well if you dodge a little tax, or you steal a car
If you roll a little joint, no matter who you are
You're going down courtesy of Maximum Bob

Now Judge Bob Gibbs, nicknamed the Max
′Cause he sends them down for the maximum term whatever the facts
They're packed in like beans on death row by Maximum Bob

Well no surprise, he got enemies
And Tommy Vasco and Elvin Crow are just two of these
And Tommy whispers, "Ten thousand dollars says
Elvin you're the one, to take out the judge and here′s the gun"
Meanwhile, the judge is taking the air
With a pretty probation officer with blue-black hair
And they don′t hear, old Elvin Crow
Slip in the kitchen gun in hand
Gonna collect on Vasco's plan, yeah


So pray that God′s a Republican
'Cause Bob′s gonna need all the help he can

It's only a matter of time for Maximum Bob

Now sometime back, Bob made a pact
With a man named Campo, to bring an alligator back
To scare off the innocent spouse of Maximum Bob
(Her name was Leanne)
Well the gator′s scheme, it worked like a dream
Leanne ran back to her mama in Kissimmee
But no one got paid for the job by Maximum Bob

When Campo called, to collect his fee
Bob laughed in his face said, "You won't get a red cent outta me"
So Campo screamed, "If that's how you feel
I′ll be right back with an automatic friend to clinch the deal"

And as you know, old Elvin Crow
Was sitting in the kitchen with a gun in his hand he was ready to go
And there on the counter like a golden dream
Was a brand new bottle of old Jim Beam
He put down his gun and twisted the top
And said to himself, "Just one little drop can′t hurt none"


So pray that God's a Republican
′Cause Bob's gonna need all the help he can

It′s only a matter of time for Maximum Bob

Meanwhile back in Kissimmee
Leanne says, "I know that Bob's missing me
Hey what the heck, I still love that redneck
And hey nobody′s perfect"

Here comes Campo, drunk as a skunk
He slews out the car, he grabs the gun from the trunk
He fired off four rounds, not one bullet hit Maximum Bob

Now Elvin Crow, he got drool in his beard
He's snoring and the Jim Beam has disappeared
The last person he's gonna hit is Maximum Bob

So God must be a Republican
′Cause Bob just got all the help he can

And even his wife has come back to Maximum Bob

Yeah

Maximum Bob
Maximum Bob

In twenty years
Maximum Bob
Back in the courthouse
Maximum Bob
What the heck
Maximum Bob
He′s an old redneck
Maximum Bob
Yeah

Maximum Bob
Maximum Bob
Maximum Bob
Maximum Bob
Yeah

Maximum Bob
Maximum Bob
Here come the judge
Here come the judge now
Maximum Bob
Yeah
Maximum Bob