Hell is Hot Songtext
von Bumper Jacksons

The Lord calls us to be giving, kind, and chaste
To never act in anger or in haste
To spend our days calm and sober
Not rushy or hungover
We must do these things
To stay in his good grace

But in heaven there′s no bourbon
Not a single drop of whiskey
No easy sex, no fart jokes
No gratuitous nudity
No drugs for mind enhancing
Not even a little dirty dancing
I can't help but think that there′s someplace I'd rather be

Well heaven may be a cool place for those who wanna reach the sky
But I got a spot that's underground
For the people that love to get high
You can dance all day and night
While you drink, smoke, cuss, and fight
Don′t you know that hell is the hottest place in town?


They say it′s hotter than a hundred suns
And there's never any water or fans
So I guess I′ll be kickin' it with the ladies
And gettin′ a real good beach tan
You can see me rubbin' elbows with all the best party fellows
Ooooh, I′m hellbound

Well there's really nothin' better than a little nasal cheddar
When you′re trying to get real high
They say it′s pretty fun to sneeze on people on the run
When you shoot your guns into the sky
You say you're straight and sober
A kosher nonsmoker
Never ever gamble
Not even strip poker
But come on, take a chance
Take off your pants

Come out sinning with me

Well some people think they know how to have a real good time
Smokin′ their jazz cigarettes and drinkin' bootleg wine
But how about a little extra sloth
Wrath, and good old gluttony?
We′ll sleep in late, eat twelve cheesecakes
And go on a killing spree
I dream of havin' fountain crack cocaine-laced nacho cheese
And nothing gets a party going hotter like bestiality


Man, I′ll drink corn liquor, gin, and rye
I'm gonna be a sinner till the day I die

Ooooh, oh baby, hell yeah, I'm hellbound