Pablo Picasso Songtext
von Blue Peter

Here′s a song about a fight with three sex maniacs
This is called "Pablo Picasso"
Let's go, everybody

Okay
Let′s bring it down
Thank you, Chris

People try to pick up girls and get called assholes
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down the street
Girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not in New York!

Girls had turned the color of an avocado
When he'd drive down the street in his El Dorado
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not in New York!


Stumbling and strutting like some beat-up, bell-bottomed asshole
This is a story about Pablo Picasso
He could walk down the street
Girls could not, could not, could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not like you!
Not like you!
Not like you!
Not like you!
Not like you!

You know, talking about Pablo reminds me of
Something that happened to me a couple of weeks ago
I would like to tell you about it now
Bigby
See, the band was supposed to play at a
Race track, down at Greenwood Race Track
And we did play
But after we played, there was no transportation home
And we were stranded in the stables
And so, I found myself a pretty clean
Stable and I tried to sleep there
But I couldn't sleep, and you wanna know why?


You wanna know why?
It′s the craziest thing
The horses in the stables next to me
In the stalls, they were talking all night
No kidding
They′re two boy horses
They kept talking back and forth to each other
Talking about the race
Talking about what kind of jockey they like on their back, you know
Whether they like a macho jockey or a fag jockey
It's crazy, I couldn′t believe it
And to top that off, this dog comes running in
This dog comes running into the stalls
Goes up to the horses and says
"Hey horses, hey horses
I got the craziest news for ya
You know the horse drive-in down the street?
Well they got a new waitress there, on roller skates
She's the beautifullest horse you′ve ever seen
As far as horses go, this one is a Helen of Troy
A diamond among coals
You guys should get down and see her
She's fantastic"
Then the dog takes off
And a couple seconds pass
And one of the horses looks to the other one and says
"What do you know? A talking dog"
And the other one says
"Never mind that, let′s get on down to the drive-in"
And they clippity-clop off
And so I was amazed
And so I decided I'd better follow them
Make sure this isn't a dream
And sure enough, in a couple minutes we reached the drive-in
And up there, serving all the different horses
Serving all the different buggies
Was a beautiful girl horse
She had eyelashes out to like, like here
And sh- and, and such a nice mane
You′ve never seen such a nice mane
And these two male horses are freaking out
They′re going, "Fuck, she's amazing
We gotta ask her out"
Guy goes, "Yeah, we gotta ask her out
This is too good to let her get away"
And the one says, "I′m too shy to ask her
You go ask her
She'll probably call me an asshole"
The other one says, "No, I ain′t gonna ask her
You ask her, she'll probably call me an asshole"
That says, "I ain′t doing it"
The guy says, "I'll dare you, five carrots, four lumps of sugar"
Guy says, "I'll do it, damn it
Geez, I′ll do it"
And he starts clippity-cloppiting up to the female waitress horse
I couldn′t believe it
Am I dreaming?
I pinched myself once or twice
It's still happening
This is amazing
So, I see the male horse, he clips off
And the female waitress horse
She comes clippity-cloppiting by on her roller skates
She just goes right by him
And he′s looked dejected
He looks dejected, as you would think
Then she comes by again, he goes, "Excuse me, miss"
She goes right by
Five minutes later, she comes back again, he goes
"Excuse me, miss, please talk to me"
She goes, "Yes?"
And she's got the voice of an angel
And he goes, "Holy cow"
He says, "Miss, I′ve been watching you from afar
And I seen you as a waitress
And you're an excellent waitress"
She goes, "Yes, thank you very much"
And he says, "Well, I was wondering if I could ask you a favor"
She goes, "Anything"
The horse breaks out in sweat
"Anything?"
She goes, "Sure"
He goes, "Would you like to, uh, go out with me Saturday night
Maybe, maybe to the races or something?"
And sh-, and she says, "You don′t want food?"
He says, "No, I would just like to go to
The races or something Saturday night
Would you like to come with me?"
And she turns to him
She turns to my good pal, male horse
And you know what she says to him?
What does she say to him?
"Fuck off, you asshole"
Ahh!

Well, that horse learned his lesson right then and there
And I hopped on his back
And I said, "You come with me"
And we went to the Museum of Modern Art
And on the walls, we saw pictures painted by a wonderful man
A man called Pablo Picasso
And I said, "This man was never called an asshole"
And now I'm gonna tell it to you one more time
Listen close
People try to pick up girls and get called assholes
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He was only five foot three, could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
That's too bad
I don′t care
He′s dead, he's done, and buried
I hope you learned something tonight
Well, he was only five foot three, could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
Thank you
Good night
Good night
Thank you very much
Thank you, Russia
May your cause live forever