Artificial Insemination Songtext
von Blaster Bates

I don′t know whether you, like, sometimes
I get to give talks in different places

And I went to give a talk to the gynaecologist club
You wouldn't believe it, it′s true, true
Anyway, I went to give the gynaecologist club

And when I was talking to one of them
He said, ah, you know, he said
"We get a few laughs in our business
But it can be a frustrating job"
Well, you imagine
Anyway, they
He said, he said

"I had a lady come in to see me," he said
"And she'd been trying to reproduce
One of her own kind for about 15 years
And hadn't managed it"


And he′d given her all the pointers
Like the wall bricks under the foot of the bed
And, you know, jumping off the wardrobe
And, and, and, he said

Anyway, he thought
And they said, "Well, it′s no use, madam
It's artificial insemination"
And we sent her off somewhere to this gynae man
The consultant man, to his rooms
And he said, ah, "Just take your pants off"

And he said, "I won′t be a moment
I'll go in and get the test tubes"
In his little laboratory, you see

Through a glass door
And he goes in there
And she hears a terrific crash
And an oath like, "That′s knackered it", you know
And he came back all apologetic
"I'm frightfully sorry, madam
That was the last six tubes
Will you have draft?"

Anyway, they, they, um, I don′t know