Instruction Manual Songtext
von BEET

Page one says, "Congratulations, you′re alive."
Page two says, "Keep both hands inside."
Page three warns of existential dread
"Do not submerge, keep away from direct sunlight."

There's a diagram of a man with no face
Arrows pointing where his heart should be

But I never bought this model, never signed my name
Didn′t read the fine print, didn't play the game
Now the warranty's void, no refunds, no trade
Guess I′ll keep moving till the parts degrade


Troubleshooting says, "Try turning back time."
"Restart your system, hold down your pride."
Maintenance page says, "Repair yearly to survive,"
But the parts were discontinued in ′75

There's a bolded warning in all caps
"DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DREAM TOO BIG."

But I never bought this model, never signed my name
Didn′t read the fine print, didn't play the game
Now the warranty′s void, no refunds, no trade
Guess I'll keep moving till the parts degrade

"For support, please contact customer service..."
But the number′s disconnected, just static on the line

But I never bought this model, never signed my name
Didn't read the fine print, didn't play the game
Now the warranty′s void, no refunds, no trade
Guess I′ll keep moving till the parts degrade