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Gee, Officer Krupke! Songtext
von Stephen Sondheim

Gee, Officer Krupke! Songtext

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
You gotta understand
It′s just my bringin' up-ke
That gets me out of hand
My mother is a junky
My father is a drunk
Golly Moses, natcherly I′m a punk!

Gee, Officer Krupke, I'm very upset
I never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get
I ain′t no delinquent
I′m misunderstood
Deep down inside me, there is good!

There is good!
There is good, there is good
There is untapped good
Like inside the worst of me is good

That's a very touchin′ story
I wanna tell it to the world!
Just tell it to the judge


Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all their marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn′t wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards, that′s why I'm so bad! Right!

Officer Krupke, you're really a square
This boy don′t need a judge, he needs an analyst′s care!
It's just his neurosis that oughta be cleaned
He′s psychologically disturbed!

I'm disturbed!
I′m disturbed, I'm disturbed
I′m the most disturbed
Like I'm psychologically disturbed

It's the opinion of this court
That this child is depraved on the account he ain′t had a normal home
Hey, I′m depraved on account of I'm deprived
So take him to a headshrinker

My father is a bastard
My ma′s an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered
My grandma pushes tea
My sister wears a mustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious, that′s why I'm a mess! Yes!


Officer Krupke, you′re really a slob
This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job
Society's played him a terrible trick
And sociologically he′s sick!

I am sick!
I am sick, I am sick
I am sick, sick, sick
Like I′m sociologically sick!

It is my humble opinion
That this child does not need to have his head shrunk at all
Juvenile delinquency is nothing more than a social disease
Hey, I got a social disease!
So take him to a social worker!

Dear kindly social worker
They say go earn a buck
Like be a soda jerker
Which means like be a schmuck
It's not I′m anti-social
I'm only anti-work
Gloryosky, that′s why I'm a jerk! Eek!

Officer Krupke, you′ve done it again
This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen
This isn't a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside him, he′s no good!

I′m no good!
I'm no good, I′m no good!
I'm no earthly good
Like the best of me is no damn good!

The trouble is he′s lazy
The trouble is he drinks
The trouble is he's crazy
The trouble is he stinks
The trouble is he′s growing
The trouble is he's grown
Krupke, I've got troubles of my own!

Gee, Officer Krupke
I′m down on my knees
′Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease
Gee, Officer Krupke
What am I to do?

Gee, Officer Krupke
Krup you!

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