The Greatest Own in Legal History Songtext
von Stephen Malkmus

I would like to represent you
Be a verbal musician

Be the one who defends you
When the odds are stacked up high, like rotten dominos
I′ll be there to vet the jury
Make sure there's a couple of softies on our side

They′ll see their own kids in you
Their empathy will go a thousand miles wide

Your motive, it's unclear
The witness is a nearsighted engineer
It's the greatest own in legal history


Our jailhouse discussions
Will be fraught with innuendo, mutual respect
Pretty soon you will be gushing
To the other boys behind the bars of my effect

Let me take the lead
There′s nothing that you′ll need
You'll see
It′s the greatest own in legal history

Cases, many haunting me
When I try to sleep, and I can tell you I don't sleep that much
Faces of the Gemini
If you really wanna bum it, I got spreadsheets on that stuff

Jobby and his jam
There′s someone here who gives a damn
It's me
The greatest own in legal history