Gold Hats Songtext
von No Time To Think

Now what is that golden hat doing on your head?
They turn your skin green, they dye your hair red
I saw a crowd of people all wearing hats like these
I thought it was an army of trendy Christmas trees

A recent study done about the golden hat parade
Found a positive correlation between what was off and strait
When they took the hats off the patients they nearly fell unconscious
Threatened that the doctors were inciting violence...
And that their answers could be taken out of context
When folks read the results of the anonymous survey


My friend broke down and bought a hat and said he didn′t care
Now he's cooking his blue jeans, he′s vacuuming clean air
He nearly threw up when I asked how he was feeling
Then he went to go put out a fire he thought he saw on his ceiling

The ageless hipster minister, he's viewed as a sage
Said the hat's only real side effect was to die of an old age
I thought he was credible then he blamed the death of every soldier
On his fifteen year old girlfriend for knocking his bong over

I bought myself a silver hat in an act of clear defiance
I touted it proudly I felt self-reliant
I thought I was tripping when I did see
A mob of angry Christmas trees running after me


There′s golden hats everywhere too many too count
A single uncovered head just ceases to be found
Though the hats everywhere the origin is a mystery
Legend was it was an attempt for global unity...
Said the company that made the hats who gave their money to a C-4
Which was given to a Super PAC which was spent on titties and beer!